Why the pain is important

Why the pain is important

Today’s physical pain inspired me to write this post. Firstly, I want to thank my mom, dad and Mother Nature for making me sensitive to any sign of bacteria. At least, I have an inspiration to write. 🙂

Instead of physical, I’m gonna concentrate on the emotional pain. The same thing in some ways, if you ask me. We are afraid to experience emotional pain even more than the physical, and we are capable to try countless shitty, or not shitty that much, attempts to avoid it.

Why I say shitty? Because of our subconscious urge to reach the calmness, we were assholes, cowards, manipulators, liars, big egoists, selfish bastards, wimps, and so on… at least ones in our lives. Our nature makes us do anything to avoid the pain. It’s a common reaction if we don’t grab the courage immediately.

And check this out, we invented ultimately a popular cure for the happiness. No pain guarantee! Let’s just always be happy. The ones who are not always happy should be worried how to “heal”. Then the crowd goes to the therapies with the ultimate goal of “always being happy”. This is where paradox steps in. The more we attempt to avoid emotional pain the more likely we are to experience it.

Why? Because life is full of hardship and suffering. We cannot pretend that it’s not a fact. We are likely to experience minor or bigger emotional injuries. In those moments of hard times, we create personal meaning, learn valuable lessons, and develop core values to which we choose to live our life. However, when we refuse to experience and face our pain we are unable to develop the skills required to tolerate life’s inevitable suffering. When we have a goal of “always being happy” we are not accepting of all the other emotions that are integral to the human experience. Ridiculously trying to avoid a large spectrum of emotions, we give the control to our emotions. They can never leave our system, they can only transform, and then we have panic attacks, depression, anxiety disorders, and similar forms which lead us to unhealthy behaviors to escape distress.

Unhealthy behaviors? Well, we can easily turn into a person with eating disorders, pathological gambling, internet addiction, excessive worry, over-exercise…
And I didn’t forget I called us assholes, cowards, manipulators, liars, big egoists, selfish bastards, wimps…
It’s very likely that we were or we faced someone who was a rude dick who pushed us away in order to avoid possible emotional hurt, which might be caused by our judgment or expression of dissatisfaction.
It’s very likely that we faced a liar or a wimp who tried to duck the pain, or a manipulator who wanted to control the situation and others in order to escape the possibility of loss.
It’s very likely that we faced a pathetic lover or a creep trying to get his loss back to feed the sorrow.
It’s very likely that we faced someone with a hysteric euphoria pretending to be vaccinated against the sadness.
It’s also very likely that we faced a cold egomaniac with a heavy mask trying to protect his vulnerable inner child.

It’s very likely that I forgot to add more examples, but you can brainstorm it for your homework. 😉

So, this head of mine trying to say that avoidance of experience impacts our ability to tolerate distress. Minor challenges become overwhelming. Paradoxically, those who face suffering understand that emotions are temporary and learn to accept this as part of the human experience. Within acceptance comes tolerance. The more we face the distress the less intense the emotional experience. In the long run, we gain perspective and understand how experiencing the pain of life also enhances the joyful experiences.

How do you deal with pain?

An introverted endless thinker who is all into the human’s psyche and self-development. Turning the drama into humor. Always hungry to discover more.
8 comments
  1. +1 rep
    We have the tendency to avoid pain and stay in the safe zone, we love to talk about it but don’t do anything about it, just try our best to avoid it. 🙂 Depending on where the pain is coming from and if its something you passionately want yet all you get is pain, then don’t quit, go through that rain of pain to see the rainbow of happiness. Mountain doesn’t make itself worthy for you to climb, you make yourself worthy of climbing the mountain 🙂 isn’t that the truth.

    Emotions aren’t actually the problem, they are loyal to you, they tell you what is what, its the mind that troubles, like for me, my mind went crazy and gave me anxiety attacks but I put it back to control because I was fighting over something I was passionate about but my mind was trying to run away from it completely but I convinced it to keep going without making the pain the center of vision.
    Emotionally we have will power to handle emotional pain, just like any other emotion ( happiness, sadness, bla bla bla), painful emotions also inform you about the situation for you to make a better decision, 🙂 it gives your decision direction but its the mind that goes rouge and tries to just run away to false happiness ( remember both evil and good provide happiness ) and soul gets lost following the mind without thinking -what I am doing, is it correct? Think about it yourself 🙂

    1. “Mountain doesn’t make itself worthy for you to climb, you make yourself worthy of climbing the mountain” – I love this one. 🙂 I think we share the same beliefs in this one. 🙂

      1. yeah level up nikol XD

  2. How I deal with pain?
    I remember that life is a game, I will respawn, let the battle begin. Lets see what you got pain,lets see.

    1. That’s the spirit! 😀

  3. emotional pain We are talking about that yes?
    i will be honest
    I JUST got hold of my deepest emotional pains the one i have suppressed for over 20 years
    its uncomfortable even with the best techniques its simply uncomfortable
    the degree just changes based on what process is used
    now coming back
    i now never suppress pain i allow it breath into it experience it and let it go on its way

    1. Yeees! That’s what I’m talking about. Experience it, and you won’t need to waste your energy into depressing it. Depression is not called depression for no reason. 😉

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