Anything that we put the focus on grows larger and becomes vivid. Anything under the focus receives the energy to live. That’s where our energy is. That’s why it is important to have awareness of where our thoughts are floating to.
We should appreciate the ability to rationally choose in what direction to go. Should we feed the positivity or negativity, virtues or flaws? Also, every energy has its vibes, and those vibes attract similar vibes. That’s why people say that you attract what you focus on.
It’s interesting how our brain works. It wakes up on every “alarm” when something is not right or not acceptable in our minds, and on the other side, it gets lazy when the things are good, not realizing where the energy goes. Everything needs the energy to live, so does the good things. The same rule goes for the relationships. Any kind… lovers, friends, business partners… even for the relationship with yourself, and your achievements.
When it comes to a new relationship with your new love, biologically (mother Nature sure had its nasty plan for existence so she programmed our hormones to work like crazy 😛 ) and mentally (Brain – starting as “partner in crime” 😛 ), at the beginning everything is so lovely and perfect. All the focus is on the good things, on all the virtues, on all the lovely times, and on all of that tempting sex. Negativity and flaws are so inessential that you just keep on growing your bond stronger, and that’s great!
After a while, our smarty-pants amygdala jumps in with a bunch of alarms, which activates shields to protect our fragility. All of a sudden, focus jumps on the negativity, the flaws, the bad moments, and sex becomes a questionable thing with the potential to become a once known legend. The more we focus on the flaws, the more they cover the perception of the other person. The relationship becomes darker and darker, and reality becomes the way we see it through our filters. Also, the way we see the world and life become darker and darker. Because we focus and feed the negativity and flaws, we grow larger sensitivity and reactions to it. This makes negativity stronger until it breaks the bond.
The relationships are something that people always need to be working on. The good formula to maintain a healthy relationship is to focus on its good sides, and on the good sides and virtues of your partner. The more you give attention and caring, the more the other side will notice and reflect (if that person really cares, and if not… you know the answer). Like I mentioned, what you focus on, that’s what you’ll attract.
Also, the right thing is to keep in mind that everybody has their own tempo of dealing with situations, emotions, and life. Not everything needs to be right now or whenever you want it. Give some respect to diversity, rather complement each other instead of (I’ll be straight on this one) bitching like a spoiled child.
Yup, you can choose where to put your focus on, and what monster to feed. 😊