Oh wo/man, I was digging my mind last few days trying to connect my thoughts into something coherent to write down, but yolo, gonna do it freestyle now. There is one song that always wakes me up when I hear it, no matter how I feel and what I do. It is called “More”. It got me inspired to write something about more.
When I was starting with this blog thing, I never thought that Taylor Swift would inspire me to write a post. There is that song constantly playing on the radio whenever I go, and I couldn’t resist watching the video on YouTube. There is that “call for sex” vibe in a whole song, in her defiant voice, in her video followed by skintight clothes and bathing in fake diamonds. The content is so perfect for the marketing philosophy, and young resentful humans, but that is not something that caught my attention as much as the lyrics.
Today I want to share my perception of criticism. One thing is for sure, you can’t avoid it, you can’t duck, you can’t hide from it. It’s simply big part of human’s nature and the connection between us.
We have constructive and deconstructive criticism, and something called praise. No matter how we call it, all of these three things are actually our, or somebody’s opinion. One more time, it’s another phrase for the opinion.
No, I didn’t forget what I said in my last post. These brain cells of mine still work properly. 🙂 Flashback: I totally agree when people say “I don’t need someone to solve my problems”! So, let me share my conclusions, or what I noticed when it comes to choosing or dealing with psychotherapists or life coaches or mentors or whatever is popular nowadays. Down below are 3 things to be taken into consideration should you stay or should you go now… If you go, there will be trouble, and if you stay it will be double (side effects of listening to The Clash today – don’t mind this). Khm khm… now seriously, these are 3 things you should take into consideration when it comes to interaction with your therapist, life coach, mentor… you name it.
Before I receive rejections, and few rocks into my head, I want to claim something. I didn’t even start writing, and I’m already justifying (hehe), but it’s because of the beliefs of the majority of people that I’m surrounded with. When someone mentions a word psychotherapist, the crowd goes wild in “I’m not crazy” style. Which is, unsubtle followed by the exclamations such as “I don’t need someone to solve my problems”.
First thing, I’ll shorten this description as much as I can, psychotherapists are dealing with completely healthy people, and psychotherapies are used to enhance the possibility to solve our life problems in adult and responsible way.
I was always amazed by the perfectionists. They take care of all those details, not stopping until their work is heavenly created that your eyeballs only have two options – to melt or to jump outside of your eye… holes. Those holes in your skull, y’all know what I mean. Oh man, my vocabulary is sometimes just not cooperating. Anyways…
Thinking… just look at that talent, completely used in a productive and intended way. They must be so proud of themselves. I wish I could touch that skin of perfection made of Mother Nature’s best pieces that she could ever create on this miscellaneous planet. Looking down upon myself as arid mediocrity, obsessed by my flaws and… painful to even mention this word… average (holding my breath) work.
Like Aristotle once said “we are what we repeatedly do”, the great part of working on yourself is to deal with your habit – the usual way of thinking and the usual behavior or routine. I’ll start with the simplest introduction to the subject, and that is the definition of a habit. Habit is behavior which repeats automatically, usually etched in our subconscious mind. If you instinctively reach for a coffee the moment you wake up in the morning, you have a habit.
You have probably stepped into the expressions similar to “love yourself, or no one will love you”, and you probably roll your eyes because it’s annoying cliché, but it’s so damn true. It’s annoying because rarely will somebody say what is hidden behind the message, or why would a messenger even bother going deeper into the analysis. It’s also annoying because you don’t have hints what the drive might be, and what would work to improve your self-love. Like any other neurosis, traumas, fears… the causes are hidden deep in the subconscious mind. We can freely call them our blind spots.
I approve self-development, and support individuals who are working on themselves, but that thing can easily go out of the control. I’m not even going to list down how you can easily get manipulated by self-called life-coaches and mentors with a blurry background, and with very little knowledge about human’s psyche, fulfilled with the bunch of marketing tricks and super-fast techniques which transform your life in minutes.
Not even a year ago I was told that we are all already perfect from deep within, and we need to be ready to take off the dust from the best version of ourselves in order to make it shiny on the surface. Right away, my inner voice of an old perfectionist started bitching and yelling how that statement is a complete nonsense. It was something totally impossible to swallow to that well-trained belief, built for decades.