What I noticed is that many of us don’t know the difference between sadness and depression. In fact, many of us don’t even know how to describe their current emotional state, but I’ll leave that one for another post. This time I want to share some facts about sadness and depression. Also, I would like to share why my therapists were so thrilled when I said that I was drowning in my sadness for weeks, which was caused by their therapies. Like why the hell would anybody say that they have a progress when they feel sadness. My arse was confused by these reactions. After removing layers of other unpleasant emotions, all we found was sadness. Maybe I was expecting something else, something “stronger”, not knowing what are the real powers of sadness. So, let’s start with the simple explanation what is…
is an emotion which signals a loss in situations where a person estimates that it is irretrievably losing something valuable.
Function of sadness
Possibility to untie person from a lost object or another living being, in order to be ready to establish a new healthy connection or to adapt to the new situation. A person obviously gives an inner value to an external object (I’ll name, anybody and everything, possible to love and appreciate as an object), and that inner value is only a question of individual’s perception of it. Depending on the amount of admiration or a need, the sadness can last for shorter or longer period of time. Loss of an object forces a person to untie itself from the lost object, and reorganize new inner world to the reality. It’s a hard process, but it’s a healthy way to recover and establish new connections. The amount of needed time depends on how serious and a meaningful connection was.
Purpose of sadness:
– the prosperity and distinction of the inner value system;
– emotional detachment from the lost object and adjusting to the new situation;
– affirmation of the existing social relationships of the individual.
Since it comes from the subconscious part of the mind, it can surprise us without consciously knowing what is the issue. So, that’s why the feeling of sadness is the inner signal to our consciousness that we lost something important to us.
By being in sadness we actually have an opportunity, and drive to find what is missing and what is valuable to our inner system.
And there is something called excessive sadness… A person which produces excessively strong sadness on something probably sums reaction to current loss, and with the sadness from the past which has not been processed. That’s why is important to feel the loss and process it, instead of blocking our minds with “everything is perfect in this world, let’s all just be happy, and shit”, because it can easily lead to the next thing called…
is a state where, being the way it is, a person believes that it is not possible to live in this world and that there is nothing that could change that situation. It is slowly stepping away from its life.
Function of depression
I would write nonsense if there is any (positive) function of this state. All the external negativity and authority that a person sucked in, and didn’t do anything to express (or it did express, but it was crushed by the others) and protect its personal boundaries, can easily lead to depression. That is a state where a person believes that it is inadequate and worthless to this world, and also believing that this is an absurd and bad place to live. Depression can easily be connected with the feeling of sadness because one of its biggest triggers is a loss. In this case, it affects the very essence of being, so in that way, the person can hardly imagine its life without a missing object, and it experiences it as a loss of its life.
A depressed person is having a very low monotonous energy level, always tired, having no interest in any activities, and the whole focus is going into itself and negative thoughts which cause the feeling s of worthlessness, uselessness, inability, and complete inferiority. That person gave up on itself and its future.
I hope I made it clearer what is the difference between these two states, and why is (if not great) good to go through sadness. Also, take a notice that there might be something deeper unprocessed missing object in your system that could be triggering excessive reactions to some situations in your life. And remember that all emotions in our system are there for a reason. I wouldn’t go after this new age total positivity nonsense – castration from vitality and useful signals.