You have probably heard many times to follow your heart, but what if your heart is constantly running after emotionally unavailable people?
That guy is probably in an unhappy relationship, or always working, or is an addict, or he doesn’t have any explanation for being like that, he is “just” emotionally unavailable. I said “the guy” in the previous sentence, but it works vice versa. This issue touches both sexes.
It was a stressful period of my life many years ago. I could call it a period of chaos and a big loss. I was carrying my “I don’t care” mask, stealthily trying to hide the suffer and sorrow, followed by the unchosen belief that nonhappy emotions make you weak and ugly. I still didn’t know that it could cause much more grief within me, and I didn’t know how serious it could get if a human keeps every emotion inside, and tries to numb it or ignore it.
It’s not an irrelevant thing to put some time and feelings into the search for the right therapist. After all, you’re paying that person to guide you through the most sensitive conditions for you. If you feel like the therapies are not working for you, you should ask yourself what is the case: is it coming from you, from the therapist or both? Are your inner beliefs and assumptions limiting the whole process of development, and disturbing the connection between you and your therapist? Let’s start with the first question when searching for the right person.
What I noticed is that many of us don’t know the difference between sadness and depression. In fact, many of us don’t even know how to describe their current emotional state, but I’ll leave that one for another post. This time I want to share some facts about sadness and depression. Also, I would like to share why my therapists were so thrilled when I said that I was drowning in my sadness for weeks, which was caused by their therapies. Like why the hell would anybody say that they have a progress when they feel sadness.
Today’s physical pain inspired me to write this post. Firstly, I want to thank my mom, dad and Mother Nature for making me sensitive to any sign of bacteria. At least, I have an inspiration to write. 🙂
Instead of physical, I’m gonna concentrate on the emotional pain. The same thing in some ways, if you ask me. We are afraid to experience emotional pain even more than the physical, and we are capable to try countless shitty, or not shitty that much, attempts to avoid it.
When I was starting with this blog thing, I never thought that Taylor Swift would inspire me to write a post. There is that song constantly playing on the radio whenever I go, and I couldn’t resist watching the video on YouTube. There is that “call for sex” vibe in a whole song, in her defiant voice, in her video followed by skintight clothes and bathing in fake diamonds. The content is so perfect for the marketing philosophy, and young resentful humans, but that is not something that caught my attention as much as the lyrics.
No, I didn’t forget what I said in my last post. These brain cells of mine still work properly. 🙂 Flashback: I totally agree when people say “I don’t need someone to solve my problems”! So, let me share my conclusions, or what I noticed when it comes to choosing or dealing with psychotherapists or life coaches or mentors or whatever is popular nowadays. Down below are 3 things to be taken into consideration should you stay or should you go now… If you go, there will be trouble, and if you stay it will be double (side effects of listening to The Clash today – don’t mind this). Khm khm… now seriously, these are 3 things you should take into consideration when it comes to interaction with your therapist, life coach, mentor… you name it.
Before I receive rejections, and few rocks into my head, I want to claim something. I didn’t even start writing, and I’m already justifying (hehe), but it’s because of the beliefs of the majority of people that I’m surrounded with. When someone mentions a word psychotherapist, the crowd goes wild in “I’m not crazy” style. Which is, unsubtle followed by the exclamations such as “I don’t need someone to solve my problems”.
First thing, I’ll shorten this description as much as I can, psychotherapists are dealing with completely healthy people, and psychotherapies are used to enhance the possibility to solve our life problems in adult and responsible way.
You have probably stepped into the expressions similar to “love yourself, or no one will love you”, and you probably roll your eyes because it’s annoying cliché, but it’s so damn true. It’s annoying because rarely will somebody say what is hidden behind the message, or why would a messenger even bother going deeper into the analysis. It’s also annoying because you don’t have hints what the drive might be, and what would work to improve your self-love. Like any other neurosis, traumas, fears… the causes are hidden deep in the subconscious mind. We can freely call them our blind spots.