If I could call myself as an expert in certain field in personal development, it would be dr. Shyness. After so many years of being a voiceless invisible girl, avoiding the natural light, and social interactions, I can surely share some awareness when it comes to this common issue.
First words that I said, when I noticed personal development… lifestyle (? 😀 )… were “I want to get rid of my shyness, and for the #loveofgod, let it be in this life”. It was something that stopped ass of mine countless times in reaching my full potential and grabbing the opportunities that were flying all around me. I’m not “cured” from all that shyness, and I will never be completely, and that is not even the goal, but the good thing is that it is not controlling me like it used to.
Imagine a kid who was refusing to talk, and instead of talking, was using fingers to answer the questions. Imagine a kid who was sitting alone in the car for hours because it was refusing to step into the house full of people. Imagine a kid who was standing behind the walls, observing others instead of playing with them, because of the bunch of fears related to low self-esteem and looking ugly.
Now stop imagining me, and let’s talk about me. 😀
Lucky or not, now I have the content to write about, and the opportunity to spread my words into your minds, hoping to activate and motivate some of the shy brain cells in this world. If I didn’t have a goal at the beginning of my personal development journey, I wouldn’t be sitting here and writing this blog. To be on social media was only a wish in the back of my mind. You can say that everybody can post their stuff on social media, but not all self-esteems permit those actions.
I did some fast shifting in short period of time by testing myself in situations where I would just hide somewhere, and that would be it. Posting my first video, live stream, and even first Instagram photo online was like getting naked, and rolling above the fire. Now I don’t mind doing anything of it (now I’m getting naked on Instagram ahahaha).
There are two ways to go through shyness. Go roughly taking random challenges or do it gently, step by step. Both ways are ok, although you might have a higher risk in quick challenges and end up two steps backward because of not being prepared for some negative outcomes, but let’s now talk about happy stuff… 😀
These are my 5 little tips on how to overcome shyness, and show how super cool you actually are:
#1 Talk to everyone
Not just with your friends or cats at home. Avoid choosing too much who to talk to. That would be just a way of avoiding the conversation.
Only by saying “hello” you already broke the ice and have the opportunity to continue the conversation or just walk away like cool guys after car explosion in the movies.
This tip is more like a challenging thing, and when you accomplish it you can easily go to the…
#2 Talk when you feel like it, not because you have to
Maybe you don’t feel like talking to a certain person or in a certain situation, and that’s completely fine.
Rather shut up and feel comfortable, than force weak conversation to kill the silence or to justify to the other person that you actually have vocal cords. In this case, nobody benefits from “the show”.
#3 Be curious about others
If you are the shy person, you’re are most likely observer, and you are probably curious as hell about the people around you.
If you are not sure about something related to the person next to you, admit that you created a question. Instead of focusing on how you look or sound, refocus your energy on that person, and ask what you want to know.
You kill two flies with one hit. Now you got the information, and you were able to talk. 😀
#4 Don’t tell
There’s no need to advertise your shyness. Those who are close to you already know and others may never even have an opportunity to notice. It’s not as visible as you probably think.
In that way, you’re just putting all the focus on your shyness. Totally the opposite thing that you want to achieve. You agree?
#5 Know your strengths
Make a list of all your positive qualities, and let it remind you how much you have to offer. This builds up your self-esteem and automatically slows down your shyness.
Everything else that I can quickly mention is to repeat and practice. It’s not “I did it once, and that’s it” thing because you can easily go back to the starting point.