I approve self-development, and support individuals who are working on themselves, but that thing can easily go out of the control. I’m not even going to list down how you can easily get manipulated by self-called life-coaches and mentors with a blurry background, and with very little knowledge about human’s psyche, fulfilled with the bunch of marketing tricks and super-fast techniques which transform your life in minutes. I’ll feel free to list down five signs which say that you’re losing your track in self-development and becoming an addict of popular brainwash trend. By the way, I’m not an expert in psychology, but going through some situations and experience related to this niche, I feel comfortable to share what I noticed.
#1 Always be positive.
Your house is burning down, you lost your job, your mom refuses to bake her best potato pie until… like forever… and after all you’re totally happy with it. Remain positive in any circumstances. Does anyone smell denial over here? I do. Lie to yourself and everybody else until you blow things up. Numb any possible unpleasant emotion, and think under the limits where you feel the shame to express deprecation is, if you ask me, closed mindset and, nicely packed, self-torture.
#2 Addicted to help.
Meaning, addicted to motivational speaking every day, not being able to solve anything on your own because you expect your life coach or psycho therapist to advise you in every situation, and reading self-help books in every spare minute. If you cannot get up in the morning and start your day without 20 minutes of motivational speaking and bunch of motivational quotes, you regress. If you feel like worthless shit and only one who can get you up for 60 minutes is your life coach or psycho therapist, and you can’t wait for another “shot”, once again, you regress. That hardly can be self-improvement. It’s more likely to be called addiction.
#3 Digging and clinging to every flaw.
You are so obsessed to become a “better” person or the best version of yourself that you dig out, everything that needs to be “fixed”, onto the surface. Every single detail becomes a thorn in the eye so that you forget all the virtues that you have, and all the benefits that you can have from your, so called, flaws. And if you don’t “fix” it, you’re a bad person. Instead of feeling happy and calm, you become bipolar self-improvement junkie ready to be raped by another neurosis.
#4 Never actually live.
Ok, let’s say you “fixed” few of your imperfections, and then… oh, there is a new list to work on! The goal is to be the best version of yourself and make your life better, so you read loads of books, attend the bunch of self-development sessions, go to workshops, meditate every day, discuss with your inner voices every minute… and then what? So many preparations to live, but never reaching that point when you actually live. Not being able to love yourself and your life without endless rituals and repairs is not living.
#5 Putting yourself above the others.
After you read the bunch of self-help books and watched hundred hours of self-development YouTube videos, and maybe you bought few self-development sessions, you feel wiser than your friends and family. You also try to get them into the self-development thing and try to “open their eyes”. Because, how can they possibly remain ordinary mediocrity? So nauseating, ffs! It’s popular to teach us how crushing other buildings to make ourselves the highest building in the area is a completely wrong thing to do, but on the other hand, there is a blind spot when we preach our enlightenment without other’s permission. Respecting other’s beliefs and focusing on your self-improvement is what actually makes you the highest building and the best version of yourself.